BY RICH DOUGLAS
Nostalgia is all the rage in the world of fashion these days. We're here to help you, Mr. or Ms. Christian, embrace your faith -- 90's style!
Make sure you place the bracelet on your most prominent hand, so when people go in for a handshake, they know you’re serious about your faith. If they don’t ask about it the first time, make sure to bring it up for them. “In case you didn’t know…”
Double points if you have them on both wrists.
Left Behind Series
Nicolae Carpathia. If that name doesn’t send chills down your spine, clearly you’re not prepared for the Tribulation.
The Left Behind book series (by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins) told the story of the Rapture, and the forthcoming Tribulation period, from the perspectives of several different characters. This also led to the world learning more about the character of the Antichrist, and many believers deciding that politicians they didn’t like would immediately be described as the next “antichrist”.
Sure, MTV had popular music artists with their trendy music videos. But Christians had Carman. The music artist Carman took his music videos up to an “11”, with videos that told a stories about meeting warlocks (A Witch’s Invitation), being a secret agent spy (Mission 3:16), or even facing down the Devil in a western shot-out (Satan, Bite the Dust). The real question: is there anything Carman can’t do?
Youth Group Names
Sure, you could just call yourself, the “First Baptist Youth Group”, but you want people to think you’re cool, right? Why not make a new name? Make sure it has to have something to do with fire, a series of numbers, or adding the word, “Xtreme” to your name.
You want to really promote your youth group? Call it “Ignite the Fire 24/7 for Jesus to the Xtreme” youth group. See how that just rolls off the tongue? Oh, and make sure the “t” in Xtreme is a Christian cross, ok?
You know how people love to wear t-shirts of their favorite products and become walking billboards? Let’s just slightly change the words and the lettering and…BOOM! Abercrombie and Fitch? More like “A Bread Crumb and Fish”. Mountain Dew? Hey, “On the MOUNT, He DIED for You”! People love being lured in by familiar-looking logos, only to be hit upside the head by some t-shirt truth.
Halloween (and the Christian alternatives)
Psh! Halloween is only for witches and warlocks, and people who like the Devil. But since people will be out anyway, let’s convince them to come to church. They can keep the costume on. But let’s not call it a Halloween party…instead we’ll call it a “Holy Ghost Weenie Roast”, “Trunk or Treat”, or you can make your own haunted house…I mean JUDGEMENT house.
True Love Waits
Yeah, you could just wear a WWJD bracelet, but this isn’t amateur hour. Wear your True Love Waits ring everywhere you go. Show off that bling. Then lose it at the Third Day concert. Then buy a new one at the next TLW event your youth pastor takes the youth group to. Rinse, cycle, repeat.
Multiple Versions of the Same Book
So your parents went to the Christian book store and read this incredible book. Now you want to read it too. No worries, we got you covered. We have “Prayer of Jabez for Teens, “Left Behind: The Kids”, and of course, “The Purpose-Driven Life for Kids”. These didn’t change your life? Maybe you should go back and try reading them again, but harder this time.
There you go! This'll take your street cred at least as far back at the early 2000's. If that's not close enough for you, just find yourself a "FROG" bracelet to tip the scale.
Rich Douglas is a Youth Pastor in northeast GA. He loves spending time with his beautiful wife and baby girl. He enjoys good stories, especially ones found in graphic novels and films. He also has an incredible amount of useless knowledge when it comes to superheroes (pushes up nerdy glasses). You can find him on Twitter @RichDouglas4.
A collection of faith-based funnies for those who need a chuckle or two.