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Laughs & Lists

12 Hilarious Mother's Day Hymns

5/8/2016

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Matt Coker | @MatthewSCoker

Mommaaaaaaa.... I killed a maaaaaann.... OH! Sorry, hi there. Well, it's Mother's Day again. And that means that it's Sunday morning and you had forgotten all about it until the moment you walked into church and saw those big vases full of roses they're gonna pass out.

Now you have a decision to make. Do you pretend to have a stomach ache during service and quickly run to Walgreens while she thinks you're in the restroom with intestinal problems? Do you sneak into the kid's Sunday School room and throw together a homemade card like you did when you were a kid and risk getting glitter in your stubble? Or do you sit there and craft a beautifully worded Facebook post as her "gift" and tag her in it so she'll see it when she gets home and pretend that was your terrible plan all along?

How about none of those?!

Instead, after service (or DURING, if you are bold enough) serenade her with one of these special "Mom Hymns":
  • She Made Me Wear the Tie That Binds
  • Child of the Queen
  • Cleanse Me (Before Eating)
  • Count Your Blessings (Or I'll Box Them Up and Ship Them to Kids in China)
  • Fight the Good Fight (But Use Your Words, Not Your Fists)
  • She Hideth My Game Boy
  • Go Rest High On The Mountain....of Laundry
  • I Love to Tell the Story (for Hours with my Girlfriends and make you sit there until we're done talking, now hush)
  • Looking on the Everlasting Purse
  • Morning Had Broken (Get Up or You'll Miss the Bus)
  • There's Power in the Belt
  • O For a Thousand Tongues to Scrub with Soap
You sing here one of these beautiful songs and she will never forget it. Mainly because of embarrassment, but she can't say you didn't try!

Happy Mother's Day!

Matt Coker is the Ministry Director of The Back Row. He is married to a beautiful woman he met when they were both in youth group and they have one mischievous son together. Matt collects Funko Pop figures, loves time travel movies, and enjoys jerky meats. You can contact Matt via the contact page or on Twitter at @MatthewSCoker.
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