Ever been cornered in church by someone who wants to talk your ear off about all the latest ways Obama is ruining this country or some other boring stuff you’ve already read on Facebook a thousand times?
Of course, you don’t want to be rude and just walk away while they’re mid-sentence.
So, here are a few methods of escape that just might do the trick:
1. “Oh, while I have you here, the church needs a few volunteers...”
2. Respond to everything they say with "Amen!" ... EVERYTHING.
3. *disappear in the Rapture* “Convenient timiiiiiiiing!”
4. “Oh, hold on, I hear God calling me... Yes Lord? Start a Church in Africa?! RIGHT NOW?! Sorry man, gotta go.”
5. Become the MORE boring person: “Sorry, I only read from the original Greek-translated King James Bible from the 1600s, which of course is the only TRUE Bible and here are a thousand reasons why I'm right. Reason number 1, the NIV was written by lesbians. Reason number 2…”
We hope these come in handy. Done correctly, you should make it to the donut table in record time.
Have a glazed on us.