BY KEVIN WELBORN
Since turning 35 a few months ago, one thought has crept into my mind several times. There is no coincidence that this is an election year AND I am just now old enough to be President of the United States of America. It must be fate. Nay, it is providence! Please disregard the millions that meet the presidential age requirement as well, this is not their destiny, it’s mine!
My VP picks would be (in order): Roger Staubach, Franklin Graham, and one of the guys from Dude Perfect.
Vice President Staubach scorches Putin with late rally at G8 summit. Why are we shocked? He’s been doing this for over 40 years!
Vice President Graham drops plane loads of supplies on impoverished area!
Vice President Dude Perfect knocks an apple off of the top of the Kremlin with a Frisbee!
Maybe I should run for president, all of these sound pretty incredible!
Seriously, people. Why would anyone in his or her right mind desire the be the President? Long hours, stress, tons of meetings with dignitaries and lobbyists. And, then, Hobby Lobbyists. This has to be excruciating! Every action that you would take could potentially be newsworthy, no matter how tiny the action or its consequences might be.
Here is the truth.
Kyle Bueermann | @kylebueermann
Well, it’s election time again. That wonderful (awful) time that rolls around every four years when normally sane individuals are beginning to look a little crazy. People whom you thought were really smart begin to look dumber than a bag of hammers. Friendships that have taken decades to form can be destroyed over one Facebook post. Maybe some dude who dropped out of high school to smoke pot has, overnight, become an expert on foreign relations and climate change and economics.
And then really weird things start to happen. Like when a flip-flopping billionaire who has been married multiple times and has steamrolled anyone who has dared to disagree with him or look at him somewhat sideways has been trumpeted as a bulwark of conservative and Christian values. And some scary-looking old guy who looks a little too much like your crazy drunk uncle starts talking about "free" everything and people lose their minds.
Why all the craziness?